“This is often at the root of many work and family disagreements. Grasping for control can create friction with those around you, especially if you don’t or can’t communicate the core need behind your control. Every person’s individual makeup and life experiences create a threshold for what would trigger this response,” she says.
“As living beings, lack of control may signal vulnerability to the brain, and that feeling may signal a fight-or-flight survival response. “In therapy, for someone to discover why they need to be in control would require some exploration and understanding of why that need is there,” says Alyssa Mass, a California-based psychotherapist. It’s important to recognize that controlling tendencies may be a symptom of a larger concern. You get overwhelmingly annoyed if you don’t receive most of the credit for something.Your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode when someone questions you or your behaviors.Your first instinct is to frequently criticize or nitpick other people or their achievements.The thought of delegating or sharing work creates a lot of stress and anxiety.There may not be any hard and fast rules as to what constitutes a control sitch, but experts say there are signature signs of when excessive control becomes a concern:
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